Learning the lingo your teenager uses is one of the ways that can broach communication between parents and teenagers.
Remember the words we use to use when we were teenagers like gnarly, rad, skeg just to name a couple, I will need to have a bit more of a think to come up with some more, it has been a while since I was a teenager;)
I know that I have been completely out of the loop with today's teenage lingo. So much so it is like my kids are talking a completely different language. So I get my teenagers to teach me their lingo, which helps me communicate better with them.
- It helped build our relationship.
- Gave her an opportunity to teach me something and we were connecting on her level.
- Also, it meant I could understand what she was talking about! LOL!
Now what I am going to say may not be agreeable to you, but it was a way that helped to connect my daughter and I, even though initially I thought it was extremely disrespectful and I was dead against it!
Mate, I would never have dared to do this to my mum. But the more she knew I opposed it, the more she did it! So going back to one of the first steps we talked about when you're in complete overwhelm was - pick your battles. This was one of those battles that I changed into an alliance, and it worked for me.
Okay, here it is. When she would address me she would say, "Hey bitch."
She would say it in a fun-loving, joking kinda way. Not aggressive or demeaning at all. But the mere fact she would even think that was okay made me not very happy.
Anywho, so instead of getting mad with her, I decided to pick my battles and use this as an ally, and this is what happened.
She shocked her friends when they heard her say that to me. They would tell her that she couldn't talk to her mum like that.
This made me giggle, peers are so important to teens, so the peer group was telling her what was appropriate, not her mum.
She had me on speakerphone when she called me one day and they heard me say, "Hey bitch."
They nearly choked on their McDonalds. They couldn't believe what they were hearing.
"No, your mum didn't just say that to you?" It was hilarious.
So this became our thing. In fact, she stopped using it as much as she was I guess it kinda desensitized the phrase and it gave us a platform to communicate.
I was picking my battles and not getting stressed or frustrated over something like this. A win, win I would say;) It is very rewarding to know that a strategy you implement to improve communication between parents and teenagers actually works!
If you're a mum with challenging teens who needs some helpful tips and tricks to navigate this bumpy road you can check out my free Facebook community called Supportive & Balanced Mums with Challenging Teenagers.
Oh by the way, if you would like a free guide on how to Create Balance for Overwhelmed Mums with Challenging Teens you can CLICK HERE.
Thanks for reading
See you again soon.
Christene
My daughter's weren't difficult as teens, but our communication shifted . One daughter called me sweetheart often and it felt like was "talking down" to me.
In retrospect, I see how it would have been more useful to ask her meaning behind using the word when addressing me.
Great article!